Why Talk Therapy Isn’t (Always) Helpful for Neurodivergent People (+ What to Try Instead)
Let’s face it: traditional talk therapy wasn’t designed with neurodivergent brains in mind (autism, ADHD, high sensitivity). If you’re feeling stuck or unheard, consider alternative approaches like EMDR, IFS, and psychedelic therapy.
Have you ever finished a therapy session feeling like you just talked in circles? Maybe you’ve been going for a while, but haven’t quite found the relief you were seeking.
If you identify as neurodivergent, this experience might be painfully familiar.
In this blog post, let’s explore why traditional talk therapy is not the best fit for everyone – and what other options are available to you.
To begin, here are some key terms.
TALK THERAPY: This is a style of psychotherapy where verbal conversation is the main form of processing. Your therapist might ask questions like, “How do you feel about that?” or “What thoughts are coming up for you?” There are different forms of talk therapy, including CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy).
NEURODIVERGENCE: This is a term used to describe individuals whose brains and nervous systems function in ways that differ from what’s considered “typical.” This can include neurotypes like Autism, ADHD, AuDHD, Highly Sensitive Person, 2e, dyslexia, and more. Please note that neurodiversity is a spectrum, and how you choose to identify within it is up to you.
Important Note
This post isn’t meant to dismiss talk therapy altogether, or suggest that neurodivergent people can’t benefit from it. Instead, we’ll explore some limitations of traditional talk therapy and offer alternative approaches for those who haven’t found complete success with it. We want to expand the options available to neurodivergent individuals seeking effective mental health care.
#1: Talk therapy can feel invalidating.
One of the key limitations of talk therapy for some neurodivergent individuals is its focus on restructuring cognitive beliefs. Traditional therapy often aims to identify negative thought patterns and replace them with more positive ones. This can feel invalidating for neurodivergent people because their beliefs may be rooted in their lived experiences.
Let’s say you struggle with social situations due to sensory overload. Talk therapy might encourage you to “reframe” those situations as manageable, or suggest positive affirmations.
However, this might not address the underlying sensory processing differences that make social settings overwhelming.
Your belief that social situations are challenging isn’t a faulty thought pattern; it’s a reflection of your neurodivergent reality.
Additionally, if your therapist isn’t neurodivergent themself, they might lack the firsthand understanding of the unique challenges you face. This can lead to missed connections and a feeling like they’re not fully grasping the root of your struggles.
#2: Talk therapy can miss the sensory aspect of neurodivergent experiences.
Talk therapy prioritizes “top-down processing,” in which we analyze and understand experiences through conscious thought and language. However, many neurodivergent people experience the world through a “bottom-up” approach.
Bottom-up processing refers to how our brains interpret information from the senses (sight, sound, touch, etc.) before integrating it with past experiences.
For neurodivergent individuals, sensory input can be particularly intense or overwhelming, playing a significant role in how they experience the world.
As an example, an autistic person might struggle to navigate a crowded store due to sensory overload. In talk therapy, the focus might be on identifying and changing you thoughts about the situation (“it’s not so bad”).
However, a bottom-up approach would acknowledge the physical sensations causing distress (loud noises, bright lights, hot temperature) and explore coping mechanisms to manage sensory overload.
By neglecting the role of the body and nervous system, traditional talk therapy can miss a crucial piece of the puzzle for neurodivergent individuals.
#3: Trauma and stress are stored in the body, and must be healed through the body.
Trauma and stress can leave a profound impact on the body, and for neurodivergent individuals, this impact can be especially pronounced. Many neurodivergent people experience chronic social rejection, a sense of not belonging, and low self-esteem. These experiences tend to accumulate in the nervous system, leading to physical symptoms like muscle tension, headaches, and indigestion.
Traditional talk therapy can help you understand these experiences intellectually, but it might not address the physical and emotional roots.
Healing from trauma requires engaging with the body and nervous system – not just reframing thoughts or considering a different perspective. By incorporating body-based modalities, neurodivergent individuals can access deeper layers of healing that talk therapy alone might not reach.
If you’re looking to go deeper in your healing journey, consider these therapy modalities.
#1: EMDR
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help neurodivergent individuals process stressful and traumatic experiences. Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR doesn’t require extensive verbalization of trauma.
Instead, it uses bilateral stimulation (such as back-and-forth eye movements or self-tapping on opposite sides of the body) to rewire the way your brain stores distressing memories. This can lead to a reduction in emotional distress and a shift in how the nervous system responds to past experiences.
#2: IFS
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a unique framework for neurodivergent individuals to explore their inner world. IFS sees the mind as a system of different “parts,” each with its own emotions, needs, and perspectives.
By learning to identify and understand these parts, neurodivergent individuals can develop compassion for themselves. This can be particularly helpful for managing internal conflicts, such as the part that craves social connection versus the part that feels overwhelmed by social situations.
Through IFS therapy, neurodivergent people can cultivate a sense of inner harmony and feel more whole within themselves.
#3: Psychedelic Therapy
Psychedelic therapy, with medicines like ketamine and psilocybin, allows for exploration of the subconscious mind without relying heavily on verbal processing. This can be particularly helpful for neurodivergent people who may struggle to express themselves verbally.
During psychedelic therapy sessions, guided by a trained therapist, individuals can access non-ordinary states of consciousness that lead to deep introspection, healing, and nervous system rewiring. It’s important to note that psychedelic therapy is still in its early research stages, and should be conducted in a safe and controlled setting under the guidance of a qualified professional.
Looking for a neurodiversity-affirming therapist who specializes in EMDR, IFS, and psychedelic therapy?
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About the Author
Liz Zhou is holistic trauma therapist providing virtual therapy services in Colorado. She helps highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults and couples heal from the past and connect with their authentic selves. Liz’s specialties include EMDR, IFS, psychedelic integration, and therapy intensives.
