What is Neurodiversity-Affirming IFS Therapy?
Learn why Internal Family Systems therapy can be a great fit for neurodivergent people (Autistic, ADHD, HSP) seeking to heal trauma, unmask, and connect with their authentic selves. A neurodivergent therapist explains how IFS works.
What is IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy?
IFS therapy was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, and is practiced by therapists, coaches, and healing practitioners across the world. It’s a mind-body approach that integrates neuroscience, Indigenous wisdom, transpersonal psychology, and mindfulness, helping people heal from depression, anxiety, PTSD, complex trauma, and more.
IFS proposes that each person is composed of a core Self, as well as a complex system of parts.
This core Self is the essence of who you are – a source of wisdom, compassion, and creativity. Surrounding this core Self are various parts, each with its own unique role, voice, story, and perspective.
These parts emerge in response to specific triggers or situations. Parts may be worried, anxious, angry, hardworking, perfectionistic, self-critical, pessimistic, optimistic, playful, excited, hopeful, or any other quality.
The parts interact with each other like members within a family system. Relationships between parts range from collaboration to conflict. For example, an ambitious part may clash with a fearful part, leading to sentiments like this: “A part of me wants to try something new. Another part of me is scared to step outside of my comfort zone.”
The IFS model proposes that parts are not inherently good or bad, but rather serve an adaptive purpose in our lives.
By identifying and understanding these parts, we can develop a more harmonious relationship with them and allow our core Self to shine through.
What is neurodiversity-affirming therapy?
Neurodiversity-affirming therapy supports people of all neurotypes, including autism, ADHD, high sensitivity, and sensory processing differences.
Not all therapy is neurodiversity-affirming. That’s because the Western mental health system was built according to neurotypical standards (i.e., the expectation that people should think, talk, move, and behave in a certain way in order to be accepted as “normal”).
Unfortunately, some therapies pathologize Autistic, ADHD, and Highly Sensitive People, labeling neurodivergent traits as “symptoms” of illness rather than natural features of human diversity.
Neurodivergent traits include: variable attention spans, monotropic minds, intense special interests, non-ordinary emotional expression and thinking patterns, tendency to hyperfocus, need for stimming through movement and vocalization, and heightened reactions to sensory stimuli.
Neurodiversity-affirming therapy challenges typical standards of “normal” and adjusts therapy to meet the sensory, emotional, and psychological needs of each individual.
The goal is to help people understand and embrace themselves – instead of encouraging further masking of neurodivergent traits.
Is IFS therapy neurodiversity-affirming?
While it’s not possible to claim that an entire modality is neurodiversity-affirming, since the way that IFS is practiced varies across clinicians, the core tenets of Internal Family Systems tend to feel affirming and supportive for many neurodivergent people.
Anecdotally speaking — as a neurodivergent therapist who works with autistic, ADHD, and highly sensitive adults and couples — the IFS modality seems to resonate with clients in ways that other therapies do not.
So the short answer is – yes, IFS therapy tends to be neurodiversity-affirming, especially when the process is facilitated by a neurodivergent therapist.
Let’s unpack what IFS looks like in practice.
NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING FEATURE #1
IFS is non-pathologizing.
A fundamental principle of IFS is that there are no bad parts.
Even the parts that we may struggle to accept in ourselves – inner critic, worrier, perfectionistic, people-pleaser, anger, and parts that hold shame and pain – are here for a reason and have positive intentions.
Typically, our parts are trying to protect us in some way, and they learned their protective strategies in response to our life circumstances.
Over time, some of these strategies may become outdated, and that’s when we kindly update them through IFS therapy (i.e., helping a part release its grip on 100% perfection all the time, and showing it that it’s okay to make mistakes).
Do you see how gentle and non-pathologizing this approach is?
Many neurodivergent people have encountered societal messages suggesting that they are “broken.” Negative feedback often stems from their inability or unwillingness to conform to typical social norms, heightened sensitivity to stimuli, unconventional thinking and communication styles, or emotional intensity that can lead to meltdowns or shutdowns.
As a result, many neurodivergent individuals develop parts that self-blame, feel shame, or seek to please others at the expense of their own needs.
IFS therapy approaches this experience with curiosity and non-judgment.
Unlike traditional methods that try to “fix” or “cure” neurodivergence, IFS avoids judging their unique ways of being.
Instead, the therapist expresses genuine curiosity about the client’s thoughts, behaviors, and emotions, helping them understand how each part, including sensitive, self-blaming, masking, or shutdown parts, plays a vital role in their nervous system.
And importantly, the IFS process guides the client toward discovering healthier and more effective ways to protect and soothe themselves, updating their strategies over time.
NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING FEATURE #2
IFS helps you connect with your core Self.
The core Self has qualities known as the 8 C’s: compassion, creativity, confidence, clarity, courage, curiosity, connectedness, calm. Together, these qualities make up Self Energy.
While our core Self is always present, our ability to access Self Energy can fluctuate. During times of dysregulation or upset, we may feel disconnected from our Self Energy. Conversely, on positive days, our entire being may radiate with one or more of the 8 C’s.
The goal of IFS is to strengthen our access to Self energy.
In neurodivergent terms, this means honing our ability to unmask (when it feels safe to do so) and connect with our authentic Self.
Many neurodivergent people are used to masking – suppressing natural impulses to stim; adjusting communication patterns, eye contact, and facial expressions to match neurotypical expectations; or making themselves as quiet and invisible as possible in order to avoid negative attention.
Masking can be a survival strategy, particularly for those who hold multiple marginalized identities, but it comes at a significant emotional and physical cost and is unsustainable long-term.
Through IFS therapy, many neurodivergent people can identify the ways in which they mask (which may show up as parts) and uncover the core Self beneath these masks.
The result? More access to joy, authenticity, and confidence.
NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING FEATURE #3
IFS is creative, flowing, and non-linear — there’s no “wrong” way to do it.
Some therapies, like CBT, DBT, and EMDR, are highly structured, emphasizing specific skills and following a set protocol. While this structure can be beneficial for some, it may feel rigid or limiting for others.
Sometimes, neurodivergent people report feeling like they’re “doing therapy wrong” when participating in protocol-based therapies that don’t align with their processing style. This can create a sense of needing to “perform” in therapy, potentially activating demand avoidance (also known as PDA, “persistent drive for autonomy”).
IFS, on the other hand, is an open-ended process. There’s no prescribed way to participate, and no need to demonstrate or prove anything at the end. There’s also no specific end goal that you’re expected to reach.
For autistic, ADHD, and highly sensitive people who are working on honoring their autonomy, needs, and unique way of processing, IFS can feel liberating and empowering.
In summary, IFS Therapy tends to be neurodiversity-affirming in 3 ways:
IFS does not pathologize any part of you.
IFS supports you in unmasking & discovering your authentic Self.
IFS does not require you to follow a specific set of rules. It meets you where you’re at, accommodating diverse processing styles.
Looking for a neurodivergent-affirming IFS therapist who can support you in navigating your neurodivergent experiences?
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About the Author
Liz Zhou is holistic trauma therapist providing virtual therapy services in Colorado. She helps highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults and couples heal from the past and connect with their authentic selves. Liz’s specialties include EMDR, IFS, psychedelic integration, and therapy intensives.
